I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
