And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
