I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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