Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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