Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
