i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
