either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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