Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
