I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
