So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
