In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
