i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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