So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
