Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
