then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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