My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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