He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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