Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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