Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
