We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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