Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
