Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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