where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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