I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shame - the story of my life.
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