it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please don't give away my fajitas
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
