i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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