True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
