we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize