So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize