remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
