you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
