If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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