this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
