oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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