Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?

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(309): View more from Illinois

Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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(630): View more from Illinois

For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.

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