Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Did you save them?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who?

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  (404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf
  Replies (28) Good night (5525) Bad night (1198)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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  (919): Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman. http://tfl.nu/6efe
  Replies (9) Good night (3437) Bad night (827)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Jesus knows you're telling a lie.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup

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  (806): Jesus knows you're telling a lie. (832): Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup http://tfl.nu/yiz0
  Replies (6) Good night (4796) Bad night (733)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.

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  (920): you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving. http://tfl.nu/e2dg
  Replies (27) Good night (2840) Bad night (4539)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am

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  (262): I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am http://tfl.nu/wxgn
  Replies (7) Good night (4112) Bad night (1053)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1696) Bad night (942)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.

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  (316): Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her. http://tfl.nu/l2pb
  Replies (31) Good night (4555) Bad night (1106)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.

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  (740): I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with. http://tfl.nu/qhgi
  Replies (11) Good night (2756) Bad night (1410)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.

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  (337): Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture. http://tfl.nu/8896
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (2201)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

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  (+61): They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved http://tfl.nu/or7i
  Replies (5) Good night (1950) Bad night (566)
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  (818): View more from California

  Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?

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  (818): Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of? http://tfl.nu/fxpe
  Replies (3) Good night (1758) Bad night (490)
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  (420): View more from

  It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.

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  (420): It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own. http://tfl.nu/cuwi
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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  (801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (488)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego

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  (617): Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego http://tfl.nu/3a07
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?

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  (607): I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing? http://tfl.nu/ocvg
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (664)

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