so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.