Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me