Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

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  (617): Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street. http://tfl.nu/miwy
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (3588)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?

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  (214): hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming? http://tfl.nu/vu51
  Replies (12) Good night (6025) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Who said I want to share with you?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.

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  (269): I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you. (616): Who said I want to share with you? (269): You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book. http://tfl.nu/trh2
  Replies (40) Good night (6864) Bad night (1080)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (16) Good night (6791) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

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  (360): Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head. http://tfl.nu/n0gh
  Replies (33) Good night (1305) Bad night (2916)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.

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  (865): Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night. http://tfl.nu/cs1a
  Replies (22) Good night (648) Bad night (2886)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.

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  (717): I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets. http://tfl.nu/exmx
  Replies (10) Good night (2641) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean

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  (715): He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean http://tfl.nu/eek7
  Replies (12) Good night (2007) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.

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  (651): Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/f80s
  Replies (12) Good night (1112) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants

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  (518): I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants http://tfl.nu/tuxk
  Replies (8) Good night (645) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

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  (214): you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night. http://tfl.nu/mxyx
  Replies (7) Good night (2403) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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  (978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn
  Replies (5) Good night (1416) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?

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  (940): Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork? http://tfl.nu/nrj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1152) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!

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  (903): Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!! http://tfl.nu/fyj1
  Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.

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  (610): In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game. http://tfl.nu/bv7v
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (314)

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