I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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