i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture