yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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