I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't deserve a penis
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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