I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
