I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
