so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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