Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
