I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
