Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
