grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
