I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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