Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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