i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
