Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize