the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
