woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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