I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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