ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
