Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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