I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
