my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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