Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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