Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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