two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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