And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize