I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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