we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
