I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize